Judgement day

August 7, 2011

When I die and I’m at the mercy of God as to where He should send me – Heaven or Hell – I hope He knows that…

Regardless of all the nasty things I say, 99% of the time I do not mean it.
The remaining 1%, as bad as it sounds, I do mean it with all my heart.

Regardless of how impatient I am at times, there are just as many times when I’ve been patient than I ever thought I could.

Regardless of how high my expectations may be, all I want is simple.
I just want to love and be loved.

Regardless of how strong and stubborn I may seem, deep down I’m just a girl.
A girl who just wants to be good enough.

Regardless of how judgemental I am of others, I am my own worst enemy.
I put myself down more than I ever have on other people.

Regardless of how cheerful or happy I seem, inside I’m hurting.
Sometimes the pain is so unbearable, I rather find other pain that I can tolerate.

I don’t know whether I deserve to go to heaven or doomed to go to hell.

I just know that right now, I feel like I’m in hell.

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