A Clueless Person's Lair

August 28, 2006

I talked to my professor this morning and it turns out all the other professors are busy until month’s end. In other words, my presentation has been postpone until next month. *attempts to jump in joy* To be honest, I’m not that relieved or happy about it. I mean, sure it’s good to get some more time to prepare before the actual day but I am getting tired of things getting postponed this month.

With things with my grandmother, I won’t make it to my cousin’s wedding in New York or get to see Rob. It feels so long since I last hugged him. Eight months feel so long. I suppose I’m in some sort of a mood today. I didn’t sleep so good since the last 2 days. The main reason is the news I heard regarding my grandmother’s condition. A few days ago, the doctor told my mom that there is no point trying anymore and that it is better to just take off the monitors and oxygen and let her go. Asshole. I understand the reason behind it but he has no right to make such a decision. It is up to the family NOT him. Either way, my mom and her sister agreed so there is not much need for consent I suppose.

That aside, they took everything off 2 days ago and she just seems to be sleeping. What bothered me most is that they ALSO took off the monitor which tells you the heartbeat, blood pressure etc. I don’t know what it’s call exactly. I don’t get why they would take that away. At least, with that thing ON someone will know when to let the family known instead of letting her leave with no one holding her hand or something.

Anyway, a few posts ago I mentioned that my grandmother is dependent on oxygen supply. So now that they take it off I can’t help but get jumpy every time the phone rings because no one knows for sure how long she will survive without it.

Frankly speaking I have a lot of mixed feelings about all this.

Sometimes I don’t really like my life. It sucks. Period.

P/S I’m starting to agree with the Brits that James Blunt is annoying.

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