Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category

Car got stolen

July 29, 2009

I went to dinner with my parents earlier by RH Plaza and dad parked near Green Gallery at the side that faced the main road. 

Food was taking a long time and I mentioned it a few times. I even suggested that we cancel the last order but instead my dad went and double checked whether our order was being prepared. We were told that they were cooking the food and will be sent over soon. Somehow something was keeping us there longer, longer than we should be.

Just before 8 pm we were finally done and walked towards the car. At first I was looking around for the car because I somehow had forgotten where it was parked. The car was no where in sight. Then all of us realised that the car was gone. We stood around for a few minutes speechless and in shock.

As we waited for a ride home, I kept waiting for someone to jump out and say “GOTCHA!” and someone would drive the car back to us, like for some silly joke from a TV show. We parked by the main road with all the hustle and bustle going around between 7 – 8pm for heaven’s sake. How the f*ck did they pull it off?!?!?!

After we got home, we took my car to lodge a report at the police station. I never knew this but the inspector told us that the RH Plaza area has been popular for such activity. Apparently we were also told that there have been a lot of reports lodged for stolen Proton Waja. When asked why, the inspector refrained for commenting. So now I’m totally curious why. Do they target Wajas because it’s easier to break into? Or do they want it for the parts? The thing is the Anybody know?  Please enlightened me.

Nothing too valueble in the car other than house keys and some bills. Of course if they wanted to they can come barging in with the house keys and rob us since the address is on the bills. Rest assured tomorrow we’ll change all the locks in the house.  I know that I won’t sleep much tonight. 

What happened to peaceful Kuching? Snatch thieves are on the rise (and I almost became a victim 3 years ago), house break-ins are so common nowadays even in broad daylight, then my dog Shadow got poisoned back in 2005  from an attempted break-in that failed so they wanted revenge. Somehow I don’t feel like Kuching is safe anymore. Then again, is anywhere safe anymore?

To the thief/thieves who I’m sure won’t ever read this (but please allow me to vent my anger), I hope you get some form of STD until your privates rot. I hope where ever you’re heading with my dad’s car, you’ll get a flat tyre and when you step out to fix it up, you get run over by a truck after stepping on your privates that fell off.


July 9, 2009

Many random things today, all jumbled inside my head.

Apparently now Barn Buddy limits the amount of weeds and bugs you can place per stage per plant, which is ONCE. I started losing interest in playing when I found that out yesterday. ~le sigh~

Personally I thought weed-ing and bug-ing people was the fun part of the game. I find the sight of another’s farm covered with bugs and weeds hilarious, to be completely honest. 😀 Since Rob has spent a few bucks on this game I’m going to play until my BB credits run out and then I will stop. Like I said, it isn’t as fun anymore.

It’s their way of stopping people from going crazy bug-ing and weed-ing in order to acquire experience points and move up a level. Ummmm hello? What’s wrong with that? Isn’t that the whole point of the game? To move forward a level? It’s not like it’s cheating. I mean people really put in some effort to weed and bug people. I know Rob and I certainly do! We giggle like crazy every time we do it to each other.

I had a dream a couple nights ago about my wedding! I woke up half way and thought “I have to go back to sleep! I need to dream more about it!” but unfortunately I didn’t get to continue my dream.   :(   I almost forgot I had that dream until I suddenly remembered it later that day. I can’t remember the details now though, but I bet there was a lot of pink involved. Hehehe

Went to the Hilton for its 21st Anniversary BBQ buffet lunch by the poolside over the weekend and it wasn’t that good at all. People do get very rude when they are hungry. Because there were so many people, there wasn’t enough food for everyone so many of us had to wait in the buffet line for quite a while. There was a rude lady behind me who kept sighing really hard and mumbling complaints. I don’t care that she complained so much, I just didn’t appreciate having her breath on the back of my neck. Lady, do you know what personal space is???

The worst part was she left the line and came back about 10 minutes later and cut into the line again. She told the people behind me (who weren’t there when she left) that she was behind me before and cut in! I was tempted to say something but decided not to because knowing my luck she could be the person interviewing me for a job.

Speaking of rude people cutting into lines, when I was shopping at Watson’s the other day this girl decided to cut right in front of me at the cashier, apparently thinking that her conditioner was more important than everyone else’s purchase. The guy at the cashier looked at me and then her, and this girl just pushed her conditioner on the counter insinuating that he should check her out. Cashier guy looked at me as if wanting me to agree to it so I got very annoyed. I said “Everyone here is queueing up, isn’t that how it’s suppose to be?”. People looked over and girl became very self-conscious and said “Oh sorry sorry”. I said “No problem” and smiled, thinking in my head what a bitch she is. :P  Now, is it just me or is a cashier suppose to say something when people cut in a queue? 8-|

Went to Guardian a few nights ago and again I was faced with a rude bitch. I paid up and this cashier girl gave me a change of RM1.35 or something. My point is there was a RM1 note given to me and it was torn. I was surprised so in reaction I just said “Eh ini koyak lah” (This is torn) to the cashier and placed the RM1 note on the counter. Her facial expression turned more bitter and black than burnt toast (She already looked unfriendly in the first place). She then placed my bag of things on the counter rather hard and I judge this by the clank I heard. There was glass bottled deodrant in the bag by the way.

She didn’t say anything to me and continued checking out the next person. I thought fine I’ll let her finish and waited. This next person paid with a credit card so while waiting for the transaction to clear, this cashier just stood there and waited, instead of giving me another RM1 note. When she was finally done with that customer, she in all her glory pushed a few buttons on the cash register, rather “enthusiastically” I might say, as to show dissatisfaction.

Her colleague walked over enquiring what she was doing and at that moment she took another RM1 note from the cash register, gave it to her colleague and said “Nah bagi ngan nya” (There, give it to her). I was f*cking standing right in front of her. What? She thinks she’s too good to even hand me a RM1 note? If she thinks she’s too good for the job then quit! Go be a brain surgeon then or go save the thinning ozone layer or cure cancer then no one will bug her about a torn RM1 note. ^$%!%!#!#@# BITCH was so testing my patience. At one point I was tempted to throw the RM 1 in her face and tell her to f*ck off but didn’t. I know manners very well, thank you. I took my money, looked at her colleague who I think was a supervisor because  the difference in uniform and said “She is VERY rude”.  With a name like “Siti Shirley” (or as Rob said “Shitty Shirley =)) ) someone should really teach her some manners and common courtesy. BITCH.

I don’t know what is with me and meeting the series of rude people in the past week. Hoping for a better week ahead!

Protected: The Great Escape

June 14, 2009

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June 11, 2009

There was a blackout for more than an hour earlier. It’s such a warm and humid night that just laying on my bed waiting for power to come back on made me sweat. I was happily watching Desperate Housewives in my A/C room and then POOF I was sitting in the dark. First I lit scented candles in my room thinking that for the first time in a long while, they may actually get used. Fifteen minutes into it I began to feel the heat and then I blew them all off.

I called SESCO, which apparently has 24 hour service now, which I never knew  until tonight, and was told that they have already received complaints and that they had already sent someone to check out the problem.

The funny thing was the houses across the street were all lit but the houses in my row and those behind were out of power. The neighbours were probably thinking we all coincidentally didn’t pay our electricity bill or something. :P  Okay that was kinda lame, thought I could make some witty comment on the blackout issue but obviously I failed. OH WELL.  

The blackout lasted about an hour and half. It was probably one of the longest hour EVER. I’m really glad we got power back. Sheesh I don’t think I would be able to sleep tonight without my fan running. I normally don’t like to have my A/C on the whole night while I sleep cause I find that wasteful. The way I see it I’ll be sleeping so I wouldn’t know the A/C was on or not. As long as I am comfortable with the fan running, its okay by me. Lol doesn’t make much sense does it? That’s just my sense of logic I guess. *shrug*

Anyway it’s getting late. (1.52 am) I am off to bed now, with my fan on high!  😀

Have you ever…?

March 17, 2009

Have you ever reach a point of desperation that you see no way out?

Have you ever felt so helpless that it feels like nothing you do will make it better?

Have you ever been in a situation that feels like everything and/or everyone is against you?

Have you ever felt anger that is so intense that you can’t stop crying?

Have you ever been so disappointed that you wish you could disappear?

Have you ever been so frustrated that you grip your hand into a fist so tight your fingernails dig into your skin, leaving marks?

Have you ever felt so betrayed that you question your self worth?

Have you ever been so sick and tired of everything and/or everyone around you that you wish you could pack your bags and leave?

Have you ever felt that regardless what you do nothing ever changes?

My 20 hours of f(l)ame

February 14, 2009

Some time ago, I was flamed in a forum. Why? I have no idea. Maybe because the fact that I own a blog? I don’t know.

Some bitter fool posted my picture (a very unflattering one at that) from my blog and copy pasted my profile section and called the thread “Shin chan”, thinking it was so funny or smart or witty…you get my drift. This person initiated this thread and waited for other people to start commenting.

How did I know this? My Statcounter showed massive high hits for that day and I checked. The hits mostly came from the forum, from that specific thread. As I read through the comments, I couldn’t help but chuckle. That was my initial reaction. I thought it was hilarious because here I am, a nobody in the so-called blogging world, was getting called names and insulted. In fact, some didn’t make sense at all. Let me give you some examples:

-unpossible! “A CLueLeSs PeRSoN’s LaiR” 3 words out of 4 say “NO!!!!”

-what shit is this? fat gal blog u also visit.

-owh shit


-owhhh – 9000 for good looks.

-i shuddered, and cried.

Anyway a report was made and the thread was deleted in 5-10 minutes. Kudos to the moderators at forums for their promptness in responding to the issue. The whole thing started at like 4pm and was taken down by noon the next day.

So why am I only blogging about it now? Well, aside from the free time I have lately, I don’t have much reasons. And since it’s Valentine’s day and all, I figured I would “share the love”. I’m not trying to point out that I was victimized or anything (although I was :P), I just don’t understand it.

I am sarcastic. I embrace it. I tell many MANY people I am sarcastic. Yes I am fat, I am pleasantly plump, I am overweight, bla bla bla…so what? I already know all that. I’m so ugly I made you shuddered and cried? That’s pretty talented if you ask me. I could be rich and have a show in Vegas by now.

It is mean to insult people but it doesn’t bother me that much. What bothers me is the reason behind it.


It got me thinking why would people do such a thing. Okay, if you dislike me so much, drop me an email, leave me a message on Meebo. Tell me what’s your beef or the easiest thing to do is NOT read my blog. Why be such a coward and “anonymous” and throw insults at me. I’m not even some popular blogger. I dislike some people in the blogging world but I don’t go around flaming them in forums or my blog. I don’t talk publicly about them in my blog. In fact, I don’t talk bad about people I personally don’t know in real life in my blog.

I may not be some “famous” blogger with a hate-site but in a way I can understand how it feels to be treated that way. In fact, what I went through was almost nothing compared to what they face in a daily basis. I will admit I do read those blogs sometimes and discuss it with my friends. That’s just about the extent of it.

I’m not saying that it’s wrong for people to point out the wrong doings of others. Believe me, I’m a firm believer of finding out the truth. However, I think there should be a line between the core truth and pure childish insensitive truth. For example, calling me fat. Yes, it is the truth. It is also childish and insensitive. The truth is I have bad eating habits. Hence I am fat. That is the core truth.

I don’t mean to preach like I’m some saint. I’ve said time and time again that I’m no angel. I’ve done bad evil things during the course of my life. I talk bad about people, I gossip about people, I lust for evil greasy food, heck I even make childish insensitive comments about people. I don’t, however, dedicate my life to making fun of other people so that I can feel good about myself. I’m not that pathetic nor am I that bitter.

I don’t mean to ramble so much but this is after all a space for me to express myself. My apologies for rambling so much but if it bothers you that much and you’re smart enough, you should’ve closed the window by now. *smirk*

P/S: I have an idea on who “flamed” me, so if you’re reading this, GET A LIFE and stay outta mine. Thanks.

One of those days

January 6, 2009

I suppose my lack sleep has caused me to be cranky today so allow me to rant.

I received a letter from the university regarding registration for the new semester today. Normally, it’s no big deal but here’s the “catch”. In the letter it stated that registration is from 15 – 31 December 2008. Yes you read right. I only received the f*cking letter today. The date stamp on the envelope said 26/12/08, which means the idiots sent the letter a day after Christmas, with 5 days left for registration.

The postal service…holy crap. It took 10 days….TEN DAYS for me to receive the letter, a letter from a place that is 15 minutes drive from my house. Am I the only one that sees how ridiculous that sounds? Anyway, postal service aside.

This is what baffles me. If I am required to come register between 15 – 31 December then shouldn’t I be notified of this BEFORE it starts, like maybe in the first week of December, if not earlier? What the f*ck are they thinking, or rather NOT thinking?

Oh wait there’s more. It gets better. Apparently there is now a new ruling that those who register late will be penalized RM50. So tomorrow I get to go over there and possibly have a “interesting” argument with somebody over this. I refuse to pay the so-called fine for the incompetence and stupidity of these f*cking idiots.

Wish me luck.

My foundation

December 17, 2008

Disclaimer: Blabbering ahead

Lately I’ve felt as if humans have lost their sense of goodness. With all the bad things happening, sometimes it’s quite depressing to see and worse, feel, especially when you’re in that situation itself.

I have to sadly say that I have lost faith on many people. It really is a sad thing to admit but at the same time it’s something I can not ignore. Maybe I’m becoming more of a cynic every day. People who know me personally know that I’m a pretty straightforward person. But I don’t always say what I think.

At times it’s hard to decide what to say to some people. It’s like what they’re doing is wrong and I would love to do nothing more than to give them a piece of my mind. More often than not, I don’t. I keep it to myself. Why? Because another part of me is thinking it’s none of my business. It’s not my place to be judgemental. But then again, if I don’t say anything these people will keep repeating what they’re doing wrong, and thereby hurting people around them.

It’s not like I always have to be right or that I’m being self-righteous. It’s about the principle. I play by the rules so to speak, while others get away with their wrong doings because nobody bothers to say something or because they too, are like that. In the end, guess who looks like the “evil” one?

This is where there is a clash inside my head. I know, it sounds really bad, like I’m schizophrenic or something. It’s basically like there are two personalities in me, clashing with each other, fighting their way into my mind, thereby controlling my actions and whatnot. Most of the time I keep my mouth shut and be polite and civil, even to people I truly dislike. Many times I resent myself for that. I resent not standing up, not just for myself, but the general principle of goodness. Many times I wish to give up on these people. Many times I shrug it off like it’s no big deal but deep down, it bothers me.

Just because I bite my tongue or don’t say anything, doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s going on. My gut feeling is rarely wrong and that’s why I always trust my gut feeling, my instinct. Plus, people like to talk and many times something slips outta their mouths. So if you think you’re so smart and I can’t figure it out, think again.

I’m not saying I’m an angel and never talk about people, we all do and I’m no exception. However, I don’t go around spreading half-truths or half-lies (however you want to see it) to make myself look good. That is very unethical and cowardly.

You’re probably thinking why not just cut ties with these people. My response to that is, I still hope. I am nostalgic of what was once a real (at least for me) friendship. At the end of the day though, I always hold on to that glimmer of hope that some day these people will be better. I don’t expect them to change, at least not for me. I just hope that they will stop destroying the relationships around them, particularly relations with me.

I’m not saying I’m oh-so-great with deeply rooted values or anything like that. I’m nowhere near perfect. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes and in most cases I’ve made my peace. It’s just depressing how some people are. It’s times like this that I’m not very sure what to do or say. Again, two personalities are clashing in my mind. Which one do I listen to? My foundation feels pretty shakey right now.

I do know that I can’t change who I truly am inside, in terms of personality and whatnot, and I refuse to change my principles to cater to others especially when they are not worth it. I end this post with something Rob wrote a couple years ago for our Digital Soulmates blog. It basically discusses a lot of thing that I’ve been feeling.

“Everything from the simplest friendship, to a life long marriage, needs a solid foundation to work. It’s like building a house, you just can’t do it without a good foundation to build on. In a relationship, any relationship, from friendship on up to life long love, you need the fundamental elements.

I’m not talking about superficial things. The fundamental elements of a relationship is not “wow, she’s cute” or “he looks hot in those jeans”. The foundation begins with you. Ok, so you think someone is attractive, great, how much do you know about them? How much do you know about yourself? Are you the kind of person that you can believe in? Do you have solid fundamental values & ethics that guide you in life? Are those values & ethics morally correct? Does it make sense to have those values, does common sense back your ethics up?

Some people don’t have deeply rooted values &ethics. Some people don’t have core beliefs. Some people live a reactionary lifestyle, adopting and forsaking values & beliefs when it’s convenient to them, or helps them fit in with who they are with at the time. Too many people don’t know who they are inside. How can you share your life honestly, if you don’t know what you believe in? We all have different friends, with different interests and so on. If someone tells one friend that they believe in something, and then tells a different friend something completely to the opposite… then neither is true, and that person has lied to both friends.

Trying to gain the acceptance of others by faking to be someone you are not, is not honest. It’s not honest to you or them. Trying to be popular by claiming certain values or beliefs that you don’t truly believe in, is fake, and when those beliefs are tested, your weak foundation crumbles. Honesty, or at least simple truth, is a major part of the foundation of relationships. Without the foundation of honesty, there is nothing on which to build the trust.”

Thesis woes Part 3

December 2, 2008

Need to vent out some frustrations. If I start blabbering nonsense, my defense is the “drugs” I’m on.

I received an email from my supervisor about my conclusion chapter, which he deemed “need lots more work on”. He further said;

“Don’t be too discouraged by my comments. Look on the bright side. You are getting there… :))”

The thing is, as vain as this may sound, I was (keyword:WAS) quite happy with my conclusion chapter. I even had an original diagram that I came up with that explained the whole thesis itself. I thought it was pretty good. I was proud of it. I was proud that I could come up with something like that.

Not anymore…

Discouraged is a total understatement. Lack of confidence is also another understatement.

I’m not mad at my supervisor though. He has been nice and even emailed me several journal articles. I suppose I’m mad at myself for not doing better. I know I’m being very hard on myself but it’s not like I can blame anybody else for this bump. This thesis has been many parts of sweat and tears for me in the past 3 years. I wish to get it over and done with as soon as possible. I wish to have one very good night’s sleep. I haven’t had one since returning from my trip. I miss Rob.

The meds are making me feel like crap. BLEH

Signing out now.


November 8, 2008

Today started out like any other day. I woke up in haze and stumbled to the bathroom to wash up. As I wake up slowly from the cold water in my face, I realised something. Today, twenty six years ago I was brought into this world. I checked my phone and found several unread messages, from friends and family wishing me well. I thank you all.

This past year has been such a test for me. Going through a rollercoaster of emotions, I’ve learned a few things.

I have said this time and time again but I have no idea why I keep repeating my mistakes. I don’t know why I put myself in such a vulnerable position for disappointment and sometimes hurt. I learned (once again) that some people really aren’t worth my time or effort. I learned that even though I try not to judge people, they so easily judge me anyway. I learned that being nice doesn’t always pay and in my case, it hasn’t paid in a while.

I learned that even though my mouth may say the meanest things to and about some people, I know deep in my heart I do not mean it. At times I resent myself because I get so pissed off that I can not be mean or nasty to the people who mistreat me. I’m not saying I’m an angel and I’m oh-so-nice. It’s kinda like wanting so bad to run that dumb motorcyclist over because he/she is doing 20km/h in the middle of the road but knowing damn well I wouldn’t do it.

I learned failure the hard way. Not graduating this year was one of the hardest things I had to endure. Not only did it affect my confidence, it affected me emotionally and spiritually as a whole. At the same time I learned how to get up on my own. I learned that I can be strong after all. I learned that I am not a quitter.

On a lighter side, I learned that chicken, when steamed, tastes so much better when there are some ginger. It tastes even better with ginger AND garlic.

I learned that no matter what, my love for Rob will never change. I learned that our love grows stronger with each bump we face in our relationship journey. I realized just how much stronger our love is after my return from Chicago. I realized that it doesn’t matter where we “end up” one day because what matters most is that we’re together. I learned that love conquers all, as cliche as it sounds, it is true, at least for me.

I learned that I have already started my journey down cynicism. I am no longer that interested in celebrating my birthday, not because I fear getting old or anything like that. It’s because if you think about it, it’s really not at all that important. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the wishes and dinners. It’s nice to know that I am in the minds of people. What I’m trying to say is, I no longer take my birthday as a special day that needs celebrating. I don’t feel the need to have all my “friends” remember my birthday. I don’t feel the need to make a list of who remembered or who forgotten. In other parts of the world, it’s just an ordinary day and for those who are unfortunate, it’s a day of death.

I am thankful, however, to be able to say that today I lived for 26 years. As I am about to continue my journey to the second quarter century of my life, I have learnt many things with regards to this life.

Today, I turn 26. Today, after all that I learned this year, I am still looking for my purpose.

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