Sigh
July 31, 2006
SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH
Very sien (tired/frustrated).
So much to think about, yet my brain is so small. SIGH
Headache headache headache
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I was suppose to attend the first day of a 2-day conference at the Holiday Inn today. Seeing as I woke up feeling sick (I was getting chills), I decided not to go. Bad news is I have to show my face there tomorrow. SIGH SIGH SIGH
So very tired…I never realize how tiring it could be to just sit for hours while your mind wanders all over the place. Between doing that during my almost-daily visits to the hospital and at home, I have been TRYING to focus with my school work. It has been tough to concentrate for some reason. One second I’m reading my books, the next second my mind wanders off, thinking of so many things.
Speaking of books, I got 6 new books in the mail, along with other knick-knacks. Will TRY to read them. I really need to get myself motivated to do more school work. It seems I keep putting things off. It’s not entirely my fault though. Keep getting crises at home, plus my current state of mind has dragged me down.
UGHHHHH!!!
How I wish I have a “on/off” button for my mind.
TENSION LAH!
BLAH
July 26, 2006
Sorry for the lack of updates. Life has been pretty challenging as of late.
Okay, update on my grandmother for those of you who are wondering. It’s been a week since she was admitted to GH. She’s still in a coma. Two days ago the doctors did a tracheotomy on her. It’s basically a surgery on the neck to open a direct airway through an incision in the trachea, hence the name tracheotomy.
I saw her earlier tonight and she was breathing pretty hard. That was a bit spooky for me to watch. She looked like she was having a difficult time breathing, almost as if she was in pain. It saddens me just thinking about it. No one knows when or if she will wake up though.
That’s pretty much it about her.
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I found out yesterday that in August I have a seminar to do. I basically will be presenting my research paper in terms of my progress to the WHOLE faculty and others who might be interested in attending it. It will be about an hour long but I seriously doubt that I can talk for an hour about a research that is yet to be completed. It’s scheduled to take place end of August.
So now I’m scrambling to get a full-blown proposal done by mid August so that my supervisor can look at it and tell me if it needs to be altered and then CIRCULATE it among the teaching staff before they come to the seminar. That means more time for them to think of things to pick on my work. *shudders*
Another piece of news, my supervisor insisted that I travel to either Singapore or HongKong to do my research for a month or so. According to him, “your research is very current and it would be a good think if you can talk to the China watchers in either Singapore University (NUS) or HongKong University. We will try to get the Uni to fund your research.” I’m like “Errrrrrrrr….”
To be honest, I never gave that much thought so it kinda surprised me when he told me it would be a smart thing to do and that chance would seriously put me “out there” in this field. HongKong is pretty far so I will opt for NUS. Singapore is a lot closer, and NUS is afterall in the top 25 rank of the world’s top universities. I think it would be a priviledge to be able to get in there and talk to professors there. We shall see.
You know, if it were entirely up to me and money wasn’t a problem, I would so go for University of Chicago. It’s ranked like #17 in the world and best of all close to Rob. Hehehe And if you search the internet for it, the pictures of the Uni are so beautiful. Okay, I’m bias. I didn’t do any search on NUS or HKU.
Anyway, I’m signing off now. Have lots to read. Til then, be safe my readers.
Such a long day…
July 19, 2006
As of 3 minutes ago, I’ve been awake for more than 38 hours without any sleep.
My grandmother was admitted into the hospital AGAIN yesterday evening. She fell and hit her head hard and was bleeding. A CT scan showed she had internal bleeding and blood clots and a surgery was carried out at 10pm on the same day to remove the clots and drain out the blood before the brain exploded. It was the only thing to do or death would have taken her.
I only found out that she was admitted after I came home from tutoring. A lot of thoughts crossed my mind when my father told me what had happened. I couldn’t get to the hospital in time so I couldn’t see her before she went in for surgery. I was scared and so many what-ifs haunted me the whole night. I couldn’t sleep.
The surgery took 2 hours and doctors said she would come out of it a few hours later when the sedatives wore off. So, my mom and I went back to the hospital at around 4.30am. She was still sleeping. We couldn’t do anything but just watch her. We decided to go get some food knowing well enough that it would a long day. We were told to come back between 9 to 10am so that we could get more information from the surgeon.
However, when we got back to the hospital, we found out that we missed the doctor’s round. He came in early and left by 8.30am. The nurse told us that he would be back for another round in the afternoon between 3 – 4. We decided that we should go home and rest because there wasn’t anything we could do.
By 2.30 we returned to the hospital to wait. My grandmother was still unconscious. We waited for 2 hours when the surgeon made his rounds again. He said that her condition had improve compared to the previous night BUT made a point to highlight to us that things will not go back to what it was before as the brain is such a complicated organ. She may show some improvements now but nothing can be sure. She could be gone by the end of the week or she will survive and be bedridden for the rest of her life. She could be in a state of coma for a long time. There are a lot of posibilities he said.
It has certainly not been a good past year for this family. It has been crisis after crisis after crisis. I can only hope for things to get better but it is quite difficult to be strong at a time when thinigs seem to get worse and worse.
There is nothing anyone can do other than pray and hope. It is in God’s hands now.
I kick a$$!
July 17, 2006
Rob and I enjoy playing games online. Most of the time I kick his a$$ in games like Literati, WordRacer, Canasta etc.
Lately, we’ve developed a love for playing games on MSN. One of our favorites (and mine in particular) is Minesweeper Flags. The objective of the game is to find 26 flags before your opponent does by clicking around numbers which tells you how many flags are near it. It’s basically a game of luck, chance and strategy. I often kick Rob’s behind when we play, scores range from 26-25 to 26-1 and I win more games than he does.
However, yesterday we played and it was a historically day for me. Not only did I win on average of 26-15 per game, I took him down 20-0 games. That’s a 20 games winning streak! Took him about two hours to “accomplish” that. =D
Here is the proof 😛
Note the “…you have won 20 game(s) and your buddy has won O…”
And after having said that, I finally lost a game:
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I’m currently working on my paper. Reading has been a pain because most of the time I can’t really understand the text as it’s from Karl Marx and we all know how people from the 18th century are hard to understand. Their English is way too complicated for me to grasp so I end up having to read the same page at least 3 times before I finally understand.
A little snippet from my paper:
“…Theoretical perspectives are used to make assumptions about society. Each one focuses on different aspects of society in order to explain it. There are three main theoretical perspectives in social sciences; structural-functional perspective, social-conflict perspective and symbolic interaction. In my opinion there is not one perspective that is best. Perhaps the best perspective is one that combines different perspectives…”
Speaking of school work I’ve yet to post my chapter breakdown on here. Not sure if it’ll make sense to anyone but oh well. I shall do that once I am done with this paper.
Until then, have fun with the smileys guys!
Toodles~~
Some changes :D
July 15, 2006
Some changes on my blog. Got myself a tagboard! FINALLY! Sheesh took me a while to find the right tagboard with the right features that’s free. I’m totally loving SayBox 😀
I’ve also shortened out the “About me” and moved links down and deleted some things so that the tagboard isn’t stuck at the bottom of the blog. At least, it’s visible without having to scroll down TOO much. Hehehehe
So friends and family, if you want to say some thing but too lazy to leave me a comment, just drop me tag. There’s no need for registration and whatnot. By the way, don’t use “shin” ok? It is after all MY name. =D
Have fun!
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I was blog surfing earlier today and I’ve never realize just how many people I know actually keep a blog. I came across a lot of old high school acquaintances’ blogs. So, ermmm that’s that. 😀
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The headset Rob sent me is TOAST. They SUCK! Only used it for 3 months at the most. There isn’t any sound coming out from one side of the headphones. Thank goodness I have a backup one. Then, we had this conversation…
Me : I’m gonna buy another headset tonight if I get a chance to
Rob : Why do you wanna do that?
Me : Cos’ I wanna see if I can find something better
Rob : Oh *pause for 5 seconds* and then you can blog about it?
Me : !!!
Rob : *laughs maniacally*
Me : YOU SUCK!
Rob : Whaaaaaaattt? What did Robbie do? *does the cutesy talk*
Me : Oh don’t you pull the cutesy talk with me mister!
Rob : *more cutesy talk*
Me : *roll eyes*
This round:
Rob – 1, Shin – 0
Venting
July 13, 2006
Nothing interesting to talk about since my RWMF debacle. Just been hanging out at the uni library in the morning to get some work done for yet another paper. I asked my professor for an extension because there was just TOO much to read. Speaking of Uni, I’m peeved at the Uni.
Unfortunately, my friend got a ticket for parking there. Apparently, those parking spaces are reserved for the staff and visitors. Students are not allowed to park there. Instead we are to park VERY far from the library, I would say almost 1km from the library. I don’t mind walking but if you have seen the new campus, it’s pretty HUGE. There aren’t much for shaded pathways like the old campus. So what happens when it rains or when it’s super HOT outside? What if I need to borrow 6 books? Now I have no opposition that staffs should get priority for parking spaces but in actual fact, there are AMPLE parking spaces for both the staff and the students behind the library. It’s not like EVERYONE drives to the library.
Another thing, the library staffs SERIOUSLY need an attitude change. Most are rude and just outright lazy. When you ask them for a book that you can’t find on the shelves but is shown as available on the system, they answer “Tak tahu” (Don’t know) while there are a bunch of books behind them that probably just got returned. Then if you ask if it’s on those carts behind them, they tell you “Tak tahu”. If you ask if it’s ok to look through those carts they say “Tak boleh” (No). So what’s left to do? You just have to come back another day!!!
Just yesterday, I was at the Journals floor (ground floor) of the library. There was no one at the counter and the sign says something to the effect of “Photocopying services are now available at the circulation counter” which is at the first floor. I thought that I could bring the journal up to the first floor for photocopying since it seems people were just walking up and down with books as they please. So I was on my way UP the stairs when a guy (staff) yelled at me and mumbled something. I looked at him and he yelled, saying I needed to fill in a form and put my matrix card in the tray at the counter. He added, “You macam tak tahu saja. Mesti isi borang, bukannya tak tahu.” (In translation: You act as if you don’t know. You must fill in a form, it’s not like you don’t know that.)
I looked at him and said “Memang pun tak tahu, first time bah, kalau tahu tentulah isi borang. Takkanlah suka sangat dimarah.” (Of course I didn’t know. It’s my first time. If I knew I would’ve filled in the form. It’s not like I love being scolded/yelled at). Now what I don’t understand is this; even if I had filled in a form and did the whole procedure, there was NO one at the counter the whole time I was there to supervise any of this. Anyone could’ve easily brought the journals to any floor they want and they did too. I was just unlucky enough to be caught. =( Then, let’s say when I’m done with a journal I can go to the counter, drop the piece of form in the “returned” tray, take back my matrix card without returning the journal without anyone knowning. I could’ve easily left the journal anywhere in the library if I wanted. Screw the “Please return journals to their original place”.
BLEH Stupid rules made by stupid people. I seriously don’t understand the logic behind some rules made by the Uni. *shakes head in disbelief* SIGH
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Oh, by the way: Happy Birthday Erin =))
RWMF
July 10, 2006
Rainforest World Music Festival happened over the weekend. I was lucky enough to finally catch the concert this year with FREE tickets! It was my first time and I definitely enjoyed it. I attended Sunday’s show which was also the last night.
To be honest, I am kinda indifferent about cultural music. I’m no music enthusiast, other than the music I listen to in the car. Hehe I guess some people don’t appreciate this kinda music. I’m certainly one of them. But after last night’s show I will give those people credit. It was a real eye-opener.
I took a lot of pictures but most came out blurry cause of my shaky hands plus it was dark. I think I need a tripod or something. I did, however, take videos of the shows. I sat on the hill side of the stage and there was a big flat screen behind me so I took videos of the screen hehehe. You’ll know what I mean when you watch the video.
Didn’t know it was Visit Malaysia year in 2007
Marilyn went with me and we caught the 6pm shuttle bus from Holiday Inn to the Cultural Village for RM10 per way. I figured it’s a lot better than driving up myself and finding a parking place. When I got to the Cultural Village I knew it was a good idea to take the shuttle bus. People were parking by the roadside on the grass, taking almost one lane of the road. Seeing as my car already has a booboo I’m not gonna risk it getting scratched again LAH.
Mae enjoying herself. Thanks for going with me, Mae. Really appreciate it!
I was watching the show and Mae decided to snap a pic of me. I look rather sleepy don’t I?
Mae and yours truly
The show was scheduled to begin at 7.30 pm and ended at 12.30am. I didn’t stay for the finale as it was getting late and we still had to catch the shuttle bus back to town. A total of 7 groups performed that night;
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Istamuzika (Malaysia) – typical local Malay music. I personally didn’t think much of it.
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Genticorum (Canada) – Great vocals and music. If you hear tapping sounds, the guy on the chair was tapping his feet for beats. Check out their website here.
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Tengir Too (Kygryzstan) – I really can’t describe their music. It was very interesting to say the least.
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Persatuan Tradisi Oriental Kuching (Sarawak’s very own) – Chinese musical instruments.
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Kilema (Madagascar) – Reggae feel and one of my favorites.
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Calle Sur (Latin America) – Ricky Martin music feel
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Les Yeux Noirs (France) – Very Irish-Celtic era music (instrumentally sounds like the Corrs) and one of my favorites.
You will get a feel of the different kinds of music when you watch the video.
Les Yeux Noirs
Calle Sur
Kilema
I think they were the most favored among all the groups. They made the crowd dance and jump around and participate. When you watch the video, keep an eye (or ear rather) when you hear “Tamaku” and the crowd will clap 4 times and another word (which I can’t relaly pinpoint) for clapping 10 times. The crowd loved them so much they kept chanting for “we want more!” over and over again after they were done with their performance.
Tengir Too
The crowd was insane! A brilliant mixture of people from all over the world
Next year will be RWMF’s 10th anniversary and it’s going to be a grand event. It’ll be from the 13th to 15th July 2007. I’m hoping to attend it again next year.
The video is a big file, about 26mb, (special kisses for Robbie for combining all the files) so it’ll take time to load and the sound is a bit distorted LAH and doesn’t do justice to the real deal PLUS it’s only a digital camera video recorder. So be patient alright? Enjoy!
Growing up
July 7, 2006
Disclaimer: This post is written based on my current mood. It is in no way affliated with anyone, anywhere, anyhow. Enjoy!
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Sometimes growing up sucks doesn’t it? Everything changes when you grow up.
People change. No one is exempted from that, whether they realize it or not. When people change, friendship change as well. As I get older I begin to figure out what my values and interests are. It’s really different from what I felt in the earlier years as a teenager.
I am growing up and becoming an individual – my own person, for the lack of other terms.
BUT, I must also bear in mind that my friends are doing the same thing as well; Changing.
The chances of my friends and I changing in the same ways are very slim. I find myself a different person today than compared when I was in high school. I used to hate doing things by myself. Now, I find myself going to lunch, and shop alone. I know it sounds pathetic, like I don’t have ANY friends and stuff but it’s not that bad, I think. HAHAHAHA. I have yet to try travelling by myself and perhaps one day I would have the guts to do it. 😉
I find my life is different from some of my friends and do not share much in common with them. So, it is unavoidable that there are times when they are interested in things that I’m not interested in and there are times when what I want to do don’t interest them as well. I’m sure EVERYONE has gone through that one way or another. For example; I think it’s safe for me to say that I’m like the most MUSHY among my friends. I think it scares them sometimes *snicker*
So, here’s a little thought from me:
While some old friends will go and new friends will come, I think the worst possible thing we can do is to grow apart from OUR own needs. Growing apart from friends – although painful and sad – can often make room for new friends and new experiences I suppose. At times I have struggled to avoid letting myself grow apart from certain friends, but the truth is perhaps we shouldn’t have to struggle so hard. Don’t get me wrong, friendship takes work but if it takes THAT much effort and still doesn’t work, why force it? Because as time passes, we become different people with different interests. Not better or worse people, just different. The people we become don’t always mesh with our old friends, and there is nothing worse than forcing a friendship that no longer works.
Perhaps in a time of someone’s life, priorities change and are different for every individual. I guess that’s how life is. So with that said, there comes a time to move on but don’t burn the bridges to the past either.
I will keep living my life the best way I can and continue to be my sarcastic mushy self.
My car has a booboo =((
July 5, 2006
My beloved car has a booboo, thanks to me.
My neighbour is having some renovating done to the house and the contractors are a pain because they park like crap i.e. by the roadside of our house (on the corner) or sometimes just straight in front of our gate.
Anyway, the other day as I backed into one of their motorcycles which initially I did not realize it because there was no sound. So I drove off, and it kinda hit me (every pun intended) that I DID hit something. When I found a parking lot to stop my car, I jumped outta the car to check the back bumper….
And I saw this….
*CRIES*
A closer look
Apparently, there was a motorcycle on the other side of the road which I didn’t see because it was parked by some bushes. When I got back home I went and talked to the contractors to find out whose motorcycle it was and also apologize. I found out that the scratch was from the motorcycle’s license plate. It scratched the back bumper when I back on it. So sad!!!!
*SIGH* My poor car..my poor poor poor car.
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I just finished watching Amazing Race and I’m loving that show more and more. I wish I could be in it. It would be so exciting! What do you say honey? Wanna join it some day? Hehehe
I’m currently working on another paper that is due next Monday. The chapter breakdown was “ok-ed” by my supervisor and he saw weaknesses in the theorectical perspective and methodology section. So, he told me to read 4 books in 2 weeks and write a paper on the different theorectical perspectives that I can adapt in my research.
It’s a tough thing to do; to read 4 books in 2 weeks. But I’m going to try, I haven’t even finish the first book yet. It has 639 pages. *twitch*
The last thing I read was Karl Marx’s theory on social classes. Took me a few tries to understand it but I’m slowly getting there I think. Heh. I’m at page 51 now. 588 pages more to go. Wish me luck!
Pancake day!
July 3, 2006
Yesterday was my self proclaimed Pancake Day. I woke up and just had a taste for pancakes. I rushed downstairs to the kitchen to see if I had any pancake mix leftover from Rob’s visit. Sure enough, there was a quarter left and I decided Pancake Day!!!
At first, I was in a total haze because I forgot if I should add water or milk, milk or water? The box was thrown away so I had nothing to refer to. =(I was standing there staring at the pancake mix with a cup of water and a cup of milk in total confusion. Was it water that you mix it with? Or was it milk? Then, I thought I’ll just ask the master himself! I called Rob from my kitchen and he was laughing at me when I asked. “How can you forget that?!? You were the one mixing up the pancake mix with water EVERY TIME we made pancakes!”
For once I didn’t have an excuse. Hahaha I really cannot explain how I forgot to mix the pancake batter. So to avoid that from ever happening again, I’ve decided to blog my pancake experience yesterday so that whenever I forget HOW to make them, I can refer back to my blog. HEH
First, the pancake mix is MIXED with WATER(I used Betty Crocker’s Pancake Mix: Buttermilk flavor which is available at Choice Daily). Remember, it’s cold WATER not milk, not warm water. How much water depends on how fluffy you want your pancakes. The lesser the water, the fluffier the pancakes. While you’re mixing up the batter, heat up the pan, non-stick preferbably.
When pan heats up and batter is smooth, pour a considerably amount of batter into the pan so that pancakes come out ROUND, not triangular, not rectangular, not even octangular…yes it IS a word. Go check here. 😛 When you see bubbles forming as such in the pictures..
…use the spatula and with the help of a bread knife carefully flip over the pancake.
Then you get this. Nice brown pancake. =D
If you’re feeling adventurous and wanna add some smiles to your pancakes, try making a SMILEY pancake. Here’s how;
First take a table spoonful of pancake batter and slowly drip it on the pan to make a little circle. Repeat process again to get two “eyes”.
After that, take another spoonful of batter and this time, ever so slowly tilt and slide the spoon on the pan to get a semi-circle. That, my friends will be the SMILE of the SMILEY. =)
Wait about 20 seconds, and then pour more batter onto the pan. When you see bubbles form…
…flip over the pancake and VOILA! You have a smiley pancake! =) That picture of the smiley pancake was my second try. The first one came out MISERABLY.
Repeat process until you get the amount of pancakes you want.
You can eat your pancakes as it is with some butter or my personal favorite is with honey or maple syrup and butter.
Or if you want to add some color and be all unique and crap like that, eat your smiley pancakes with fruits, like cherries or apples. =D