LDR – What’s so wrong about it?

June 30, 2008

I had dinner with a couple (out of town) cousins and uncle and “aunt” last night. They came over to the house after dinner for a little while. Somehow the topic of conversation with the cousins (they’re sisters) came to my visit to the States next month. I was never close with them (Let’s call them A and B) nor do I care much for them (to be brutally honest).

Anyway, when asked about where I would be staying, I told them Chicago. Of course they asked why. I answered “Because my boyfriend is there.” So questions arose and I explained to them that Rob and I are in a long distance relationship (LDRs) and we met online etc. I could see a change of facial expression on A’s face (although she was trying to hide it) when I explained while B had a better “fake-receptive” look.

Initially when I told them my boyfriend is in Chicago, B looked all shocked and asked “You’re boyfriend is in Chicago and you’re HERE?” I also got questioned about his “race” to which I said, “Yes he is an angmo (white)”. Funny coming from them considering B is married to an angmo from Texas. A then questioned his age and his work etc, being all curious I suppose but it gets better….

The stupidest question was A asking me “So do you like him? Really like him?” I was stunned, I was dumbfounded that someone could ask me that question. Speechless, I stupidly just said “Yeah” and walked away. I seriously became dumb because someone actually asked me a question THAT dumb. I was DUMBIFIED. Hello??? She went to Law school for GOD’S SAKE. Thank GOD she isn’t practising law. Oh I wonder why. La Di Da…

Anyway, I wanted to kick myself a minute later when I realized what had happened. Why didn’t I say something back? I wanted to say “BITCH, he’s my boyfriend, of course I fcuking like him. I LOVE HIM”. *sigh* I can be so clueless sometimes.

So this brings me to this post. What’s so wrong about LDRs? Normally I don’t give a rat’s ass what people think about me but after this long, I really need to vent out the frustrations on the narrow-minded people I’ve come across. It’s ok if you’re skeptical but it’s not ok when you’re skeptical AND have a self-righteous attitude. Not all LDRs are foolish, superficial, artificial, fake, untrue, fantasy-like etc.

Some people don’t believe that LDRs will work simply because of the distance. Some people don’t trust their partner being on the other side of the world. Then again, how many times have you heard of people cheating while living under the same roof with their partner? Just because you don’t see your partner face to face on a daily basis does not mean they are cheating or lying to you.

Some people crave for the physical intimacy and I don’t mean just sex. The hugging, kissing, cuddling, snuggling etc. Yes, some couples have pre-marital sex, some hold out until marriage. It’s their choice. It’s their life. For me, physical intimacy isn’t as important as compared to spiritual connection between two people. Of course I would be lying if I said I didn’t yearn from the physical closeness with my soulmate. I want to be able to hug him when he’s having a bad day. I want to be able to kiss him goodnight. I want to be able to hold his hands. I can’t right now but I know we have something more than that. Something better that nothing can replace. We have a connection. Our souls connected in many levels. That is what a soulmate is.

I told Rob about it today and he and I laughed it off by coming up with some seriously sarcastic (Hah! The irony!) comebacks that I should have said to A’s question; “So do you like him? Really like him?” Here are the top 5 answers:

5) Like him? Who are you kidding? No way!
4) No, I don’t really like him. He’s just my BOYFRIEND for fun. *roll eyes*
3) It’s just my life-long dream to have an ang mo boyfriend. So why not?
2) Nah, don’t like him that much. I just like to travel half way around the world to see someone I don’t like JUST for fun.

And THE best answer I could’ve gave to her was….

Drumroll please…

1) No, he’s an ass. I just fly over there for the SEX. (For the SHOCK [!] factor) or in Rob’s sarcastic words “No I don’t really like her. I just wanna DOINK her”

I understand that some people do not understand LDRs. I understand that some people are skeptical about it. I understand some people just don’t get it but sometimes I just can’t help but take some offense to their reactions and words. Nothing is impossible in this day of age. Even a man can now give birth nowadays! So PLEASE be a bit open minded.

P/S: I may have been overly sensitive towards their reaction but after so long and the many “looks” I get from people when I tell them I am in a LDR, can you blame me?

  1. 2 Responses to “LDR – What’s so wrong about it?”


  2. My fiance and I met online and we were in a long distance relationship for nearly 4.5 years. We’re getting married in August.

    I’m not gonna say that LDR is easy. It isn’t, but it’s not impossible either.

    At the risk of sounding cliche, I guess you just need to meet the right person. I’m a convert myself.

    Good luck! :)

    By MisSmall on Monday, Jun 30, 2008


  3. Miss Small,

    Oh I totally agree with you even though it’s cliche.

    I get excited when I find out that a LDR couple gets married and eventually settles down together. Congratulations! Have a great life together. :))

    Don’t be a stranger :)

    By Shin on Monday, Jun 30, 2008


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