Marriage anyone?
April 24, 2006
I was talking to a friend (anonymous, don’t ask for names) of mine last night and I commented that wedding dresses nowadays are very unique and not so traditional anymore. In other words, I’ve noticed that wedding dresses now are more colorful as oppose to the traditional white/ivory type. Anyway, that’s another story. The thing is when I mentioned “wedding” dresses, she lamented that she won’t be getting married anytime soon at all.
In her opinion she still had her “fun” years well ahead of her. She seems to think that marriage would be an end for her ‘social’ life. She likes her “freedom”. I would understand if one is not ready for marriage because the intensity or passion for the other isn’t quite there. But what I don’t get is the fact that if she wants her “freedom” why does she need her boyfriend? Is it because it’s better than nothing while waiting for a better one to come along? One can only wonder…
Then some of you might think, “Well it’s her life, she can do whatever she wants. Why do you bother?” The thing is, I’m not bothering that much at all about her. It’s the fact that she is not the only one with that kinda attitude nowadays. It’s quite astonishing how the world changes within decades. Now people just get married for the sake of it. Have a huge BIG ASS wedding with the whole shenanigans but in the end, get divorced. That’s quite a worrisome thought to say the least.
For me, marriage is a commitment of life. Some feel it is obligatory for the man to provide financially for his wife and children. Therefore, in most cases he must work. He should also contribute to the parenting of the children and if possible the household chores. The list goes on BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. To an extent those “shoulds” prove to be important. Marriage is a union (if you believe in sex after marriage) of 2 human beings (trying to be politically correct so as to not single out gays hehehe) and the fundamental foundation of a marriage is love. I really don’t think marriage is an end to “whatever it is that some people think it is”.
Personally, my ideal relationship would be a deep and passionate connection. This sense of intimacy is really important for me. Who needs a fling when what I want is the whole fairytale: long walks on the beach, up-all-night conversations, and watching sunrises/sunsets in each other’s arms. To top it, SOME fairytales DO come true as do some dreams.
I’ve hoped to find my other half, that one person who can finish my sentences, someone who really ‘gets’ my inner emotions. And before I found him, I didn’t mind flying solo every now and then. That’s because deep down, I knew that being with the wrong someone is just an obstacle to being with my one-and-only. So even as you’re reading this and thinking about how to find your one-and-only, know that somewhere out there, someone is probably wondering the same thing. It’s just a matter of time.
And before any of you jump into conclusions, I would like to say “No, I’m not getting married…YET” =D Who doesn’t wanna get married and experience life together with someone you love and adore? It’s only a matter of time until *I* do but I still wouldn’t ask any of you to hold your breath. Don’t worry, if I like you, you’ll know when as I’ll send an invitation your way. *smirk*
*******************************************************
Moving on to a totally different topic altogether, I was at Upwell a few nights ago and I bought shoes!!! *squeal* They were on sale, honest! Upwell at Jalan Song Thian Cheok is having closing down sale and it has been going on for almost a month already. I didn’t think to go there at first because I’m not too keen on pushing and shoving with a bunch of people, snatching things on sight. But figuring that there won’t be much people going there anymore as it’s been that long, I went and I found shoes!!!
They were on 50% off so I was a happy camper. I’ve had a few pair of new shoes that my “darling” dog decided to shred into pieces so I was out of shoes to wear. The best thing about having big feet (size 7-8) is that there is almost always sizes left during sales time. *laughs maniacally* So I got 2 pairs of heels for under RM50, which I am totally happy about considering I’m so tight fisted lately. Hehehe.
On a fun note, I tried this thingy and got this:
HAHAHAHA. I’m a seductress and I didn’t even know it. Anyway, I couldn’t resist trying it out for other people I know i.e
Honey, ooops I mean Romeo, I would like some backrubs please =D
Hehehe Intense EROTIC embraces…need I say more?
LOL This is…well let’s just say, she’s got one lucky boyfriend.
Again, one lucky bf to be getting those necking 😉
AKA Allen. Worship? No comment heh
Naugthy affections eh? Linda, have you been naughty? *wink*nudge*
It’s really fun so click on the pics and go to the website and play! =))
bac up on the marriage argument;
I’m completely in agreement with your friend when she said marriage is a long way off when u’ve still got you “fun years” so to speak ahead of u…for the same reasons that u yourself stated:I do believe marriage is a commitment for life so a lot of ppl aren’t going to bank on feelings they presently have for a person,when a few years down the line they probably wudn’t even like to share the same breakfast cereal..I think its very important to give time to a relationship to mature-if somewhere along the journey u decide u don’t want to travel down the same road u cud atleast part ways amicably rather than chase a divorce lawyer around the state demanding a quick,speedy divorce on grounds of ‘irreconciliable differences’!
Its not abt. giving up on freedom,well not really!..committing yourself to 1 person is a huge risk-giving some1 the oppurtunity to destroy you but trusting them not to, is a pretty scary thought..so right now its abt.-“I love spending time with you,u can make me laugh like no else,I keep thinking abt.u and we’re great together so lets hang in there and see where we we’d be 5 or so yrs from now”-and more often than not the answer is;in another relationship.So, by freedom, it means being able to say after all that time together “honey,this is just not going to work,we’ve worked our way around our differences but I think we’d be much better off as friends” is definitely a whole lot better than “so how much do I get as alimony?”
so its not abt. having the right amount of passion,intensity or sense of intimacy-its abt. the expiry date on those emotions…but after a couple of yrs. together, knowing with every fibre of your being that u would be ‘broken’ without your significant other is a sure sign to take a trip down the aisle!
and I conclude by saying:That is the significance of a long-term relationship that may or may not culminate in marriage.