Dreams or nightmares?

August 13, 2006

It’s 1 in the morning and I am taking a break from working on my proposal. I really do hope to have it done by Monday. Then I can emailed it to my supervisor and finally get some rest.

I know I said I probably won’t update until I am done but I have this feeling of uneasiness inside of me. Some thing is bothering me but I can’t exactly pinpoint what it is.

Perhaps it has to do with the dream I had 2 nights ago. I dreamt that my grandmother died. The dream was so detailed. I remembered getting the call one late night/early morning. I saw the body, kissed my grandmother goodbye. I saw the body in the coffin, I dreamt of the wake and the funeral. I dreamt that people came by to the wake and talking to the family while some just hung around. I woke up that morning really confused and had tears in my eyes. Tears I cried in the dream. It was just that real. I even remembered emailing my professor in that dream telling him I couldn’t submit my proposal in time because of the tragedy in the family. It’s no wonder I have been tense the rest of the week.

It’s not the first time I had a dream like this. A few days after an aunt died last year, I had a dream about her. She was hugging everyone in the family, saying goodbye. This year, before my aunt in Australia passed away, I had a dream about her. I dreamt she was talking to my mom. My mom asked how she was doing (she had cancer) and she told my mom she’s okay now. Two days later, she passed away.

It is scary to dream such things. I have no idea why I dream these things. I wish I didn’t though because it totally messes with my head.

I pray to God that whatever He has planned for my grandmother, just don’t let her suffer. She is old and everyone has to go sometime but it doesn’t make it easy seeing her on the bed, motionless with tubes everywhere.

Why do I dream the things I dream? Or are they nightmares?

I’m yawning but almost afraid to go to sleep, I’m scared to dream now…

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